Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Movin' Out

I am presently working at one of the most prestigious universities in the entire world (Harvard, not BU. Hah!), and I hate it. I am only here, I realized, because I have some sort of work ethic, and feel a responsibility to finish out my time here. All I do while I'm here is wait to go home, and the lousy $113 a week I make here isn't worth the mental anguish I go through three nights a week to earn it. For a three-hour shift, it's actually about a five hour swing when you count the commute, so for nine hours of work per week, I'm actually into them for 15 hours. So, after paying for the bus and factoring in the time I spend getting here, I make roughly $7 an hour. I'm 31 years old. I made that working at Video Showplace when I was 18, and was a lot happier. At least at Showplace, I was having sex in the back room after hours and got free rentals.

That's not really what I wanted to write about, but it is a startling realization. I wanted to talk about a friend of mine who apparently came out to her parents recently. It was a very stressful thing for her, so Yay! She did it. The thing was, when she finally told them, they said they knew already. In fact, when I first met her, she had recently broke up with her boyfriend, but I knew she was gay, too. She just, y'know, has a quality. The same quality most of my lesbian friends have.

Now, I myself am not gay, but I imagine coming out to my parents wouldn't be that big a deal. Especially in this day and age. I can imagine myself not even bothering to come out to my parents, since they know so little about my actual life as it is. They probably already think I'm gay, for that matter. I think my Mom is just happy if I'm eating right and taking care of myself (See how little they know?). If I were to ever tell my parents, it would probably go something like, "Mom, you know I'm gay, right?" And she would probably just tell me not to get AIDS. Not so much coming out there. More like sliding out.

I know that all families are different, and mine is certainly not one to be measured against. But I wouldn't see the "Coming Out to the Parents" as the biggest deal. I would probably see the anal sex with a man as the real bugaboo, but that's just me. One of my best friends is coming on 30, has lived with a woman for five years or so in a one bedroom apartment, and has never actually told her parents that she's gay. It's just the way it is with some people. At this point, I don't know that she really needs to. Maybe there are identity issues involved and facing reality and all that, but, shit, I'm out there as a total straight guy and I have all kinds of identity issues, so I don't know if coming out really helps at all. I think as long as you know who you are, fuck everyone else.

That's my rant for today.

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