Love & Marriage

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me
--Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road

Friday was Brian's wedding. After months of miscommunication and even some anguish over it, think I can finally offer my last words on the matter. Until next time.

First off, I was told that I had to pick up my tux on Tuesday between 4:00 and 6:00p.m. Obviously, there was no way, and I told Brian so. This time, he agreed that it was fine (unlike the fitting, but we'll let the past be the past.) I called them on Tuesday afternoon, however, and paid for it over the phone so it would be delivered with the rest of them on Wednesday. However, Brian called me Wednesday night and said, "Your tux is here. You just have to pay for it and it'll be all set."

"Well, I paid for it over the phone, dude, so they're screwing you."

"What? Did you talk to Jose?"

Christ. Anyway, they straightened that mess out quick enough. The rehearsal was okay, too, until the end, when Brian practically begged us to get down to Westport at 11:30 for his 3:00 wedding. I had no idea how we were going to fill three and a half hours, but we let the boy have his say. We also were instructed to pick up the tuxes at Stacey's parents' house, even though someone else had already been instructed to do so. Too many chefs...

The ceremony went off without a hitch, almost in spite of itself (When you involve that many small children, it's a recipe for disaster.) Afterwards, John and I stood around for a few minutes, asking people if they knew what was going on. Nobody did, so we got in his car and started driving to Quincy for the reception. Five minutes later, we got a call that said we were supposed to be riding in the limo. Huh. No one told us that. Oh well. About twenty minutes after that, almost half way to Quincy, another call informed us we had to turn around for pictures at some farm near Stacey's house. I have no idea who dropped the ball on that one, but we were a little pissed. And I knew I was pissed because I said nothing. When I'm annoyed, I discovered, I rant. When I'm really pissed, I say nothing. I just sit and seethe.

The rest of it was great. The reception was a lot of fun (although the video they showed was a tad long, not to mention my face on the big screen a little jarring.) The best part was when I told Shawn to go to the bar at the same time as my Dad, knowing that he would set Shawn up. Shawn later told me, "It was like clockwork." Anyway, all's well that ends well and all that, so I think the wedding itself was fine.

Now, the other part...

I originally questioned Brian and Stacey getting engaged after only knowing each other for six months. I thought maybe he was basking in the glow and she was probably desperate to get married to someone (biological clock and all that.) I think I still would question it if I had to do it again. It just doesn't seem like enough time. People kept asking me if I ever thought I'd see this day, and I wanted to answer, "Yes, I always figured Brian would one day fall head over heels in love."

However, I don't doubt that they are in love, even more than a year later, and I believe that will make it. One of Brian's greatest traits has always been his loyalty, and that is something I think I've always over-looked when it comes to marriage. Loyalty to the person you're marrying, and to the marriage itself. It's not something I thought about before now, and it was actually that video that made me realize it.

During Shawn's toast (which rivaled all the great Dursin toasts), he said something about the measure of a man is how he spends his time, and how Brian has spent his time since meeting Stacey has been nothing but positive. I mean, he has faults, as we all do, but that's why I put the Springsteen quote at the beginning of this post. Obviously, I tend to focus on the negative aspects of everything, so all I can see is how whipped he is sometimes and how much Women's Entertainment television he watches. Maybe I need to learn to take the good with the bad. Maybe I should see the positive side of Brian's new life since meeting Stacey. Maybe I should show a little faith. Wow. It's a damn good thing I didn't give that toast.

I think the friendships I've forged with those I've known for many, many years have always been very on the surface. Obviously, we've been there for each other when things are bad, and we have fun when things are good, but the mushy stuff, like weddings and funerals, have always been difficult, because expressing real feelings has never been something we do very well. So, at the reception, I wanted Brian to know how I really felt, so I grabbed him and hugged him and said, "I always knew you'd fall madly in love, you cunt."

I think he got the idea.