Thursday, September 20, 2007

Should I Feel Bad About This?

So, here's a scenario for you;

A man is walking the city streets, on his way home from his second job, a long day at work. As he nears his home, he spies two young gents standing outside a liquor store, smoking.

"Hey, man, can ya help us out?" One of them says.

A little nervous, but weary, and figuring the guy just wants a light or has car trouble or something (neither of which this man can help him with), he responds, and soon discovers that the young gents are thirsty.

"Dude, I'm twenty years-old, and the place down the street wouldn't let me."

Ahhh, yes. Thirsty, underage gents.

"What do you want?" the man asks.

"Keystone Light. Two thirties?"

"Oh come on. They won't believe that one old guy is buying 60 beers," the man replies. "Besides, this is my liquor store, too. I don't want to get tossed out or anything."

"Tell 'em yer havin' a few girls over. Nah, one's good. No need to be greedy. Here's some money. We'll be over there behind the building."

They hand the man a wad of money (which is funny because a thirty pack of Keystone Light costs only about $15.00. That is some cheap shit.) and even offer to throw him some for his troubles. They seem very nervous about this whole thing, so the man knows that they are legitimate, thirsty, underage gents. Despite his level of poverty, the man refuses their extra money, asks them to hold his book, and enters the store. Perhaps trying to deflect any guilt, he makes small talk with the employees, and buys his thirty, and is on his way. He walks into the dark alley, finds the gents, retrieves his book, gives them their beer and their change, criticizes them for drinking such lousy beer, and is on his way.

He suddenly gets very nervous about the legality of the whole situation, and walks home "the back way," as if he could lose the police down a side street. After a few moments, the fear passes, and he realizes that he was just part of a time-honored tradition of procuring alcohol. He laughs to himself, and suddenly he realizes that this is his life.


Yes, I bought beer for two underage college students (Suffolk, thankfully, not BU.) I know it's a crime, but , come on, they were twenty. I think we should all be able to drink at 18, anyway, and these guys were close enough, and it might as well be me rather than some homeless guy who will just steal their money.

Maybe it's the drinker in me, or the fact that I work with a lot of students, or the fact that I don't give a shit, but I didn't hesitate for a moment once I figured out they were on the level. Thinking about, I wonder if most people would have done it, or even looked up? Would they have had some kind of moral issue with buying beer for minors? Would the fact that it's illegal have stopped them? A bit of both? Honestly, I got a kick out of it. It was the best laugh I had all week. But that's me.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Leave me alone!

If my friend ever reads this, he may get offended, but, well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I gotta be me.

This friend is getting married soon and is freaking out (FREE-KIN' OUT!) at everyone, and I am one of his ushers. He freaked-out at me because I went to get my tux fitted when it was most convenient for me, rather than with the rest of the wedding party. in his angry e-mail, he said it was petty of me (which it maybe was, since my only reason was I didn't want to get up early on a Saturday) and made him look bad (which I don't see how). Anyway, we ironed it out and everything was fine, but there was one part of his tirade that I thought bears mentioning.

In his "P.S." (which in the lexicon of angry e-mails really amounts to saying "And another thing..."), he said, "Like it or not, I am one of two now." He accused me of purposely excluding his girlfriend/fiancee' on a couple occasions (and even named them). This was amazing to me. I've known a lot of married and coupled people, and I've never excluded anybody from anything. I maybe didn't call my friend's wife herself to invite her as well, but I guess I always assumed that it was understood that when I invite one, I'm inviting the other. Honestly, if I invite my friend out for a few beers after work or something, it's up to him to invite his wife, and of course I would never have a problem if he did.

I wanted to respond, "Like it or not, eh? I choose Not." Just to see what he would say. I was actually pretty pissed that he would accuse me of this. It made me slightly less angry when I figured out it was probably his future wife that planted the idea in his head. Probably, not necessarily. Still, to me, that was petty. And it was obvious that he had been carrying this shit around for awhile because he mentioned my birthday being one of the occasions, and that was April 1st. Here we are in September. And the funniest thing was she came to my birthday, even though, according to him, she was "uninvited." Of course, she wasn't, but I guess he's clearly not thinking straight these days.

In the end, this is all meaningless, and probably nothing more than a miscommunication, but I find it completely out of line that he would bother to say that to me, after knowing me for 15 years.

Why can't people just leave me alone?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Passage of Time

I had to put my cat, TC, to sleep today.

I was at my parent's house after staying there after Brian's bachelor party last night, and when I got up this morning, the poor thing was shaking and could barely move. I knew that was it. The weird thing is that my Dad said she had been declining lately, but she could still walk and the shaking thing was new. It was almost as if she waited for me.

For those who aren't aware, my cat was almost twenty years old. My parents got her for me when my brother was going off to college. my brother is now 37, and I'm 31, so do the math. She had been a great pet, and I have plenty of funny stories that I will always remember. She was a real cool cat, too, not one of these spaz-outs. I guess it's true that pets often take on the personalities of their owner, because a lot of people thought my cat was a real bitch, but I knew she was a really nice pet. She was independent and free and did whatever she wanted and didn't take any shit. A cat's life, for sure.

Obviously, she was old, so this was not a huge surprise to anyone, and it was my call and I decided it was her time, but what really gets me is that this is just another glaring example of the passage of time. TC (Top Cat) was the only pet that was really mine, and it's doubtful I'll ever get another one. Maybe a gecko one day, but those things don't last 19 years. On a day like this, I really wonder why people get pets at all, knowing that this is the inevitable outcome every time. I mean, there's not much chance something like this won't happen.

So, 19 years is a long time. I've had a lot of friendships that are shorter than that. And if you add up every relationship I've ever had, it doesn't even come close to 19 years. Barely half, actually. TC was a good friend for a long time, and there really wouldn't be any replacing her. In fact, now I really regret not taking her with me when I moved out. Not that she would have been very happy, because she always enjoyed roaming the woods at night, but at least we could have hung out some more. Then again, sometimes I wonder if she even knew I was gone.

The point is, she is gone now, I have two weddings next month, and suddenly, I feel very old. She was my childhood pet and she's gone, along with just about everything else from my childhood. All the good stuff, anyway. Isn't there anything I can do that can make me feel young again?