A man is walking the city streets, on his way home from his second job, a long day at work. As he nears his home, he spies two young gents standing outside a liquor store, smoking.
"Hey, man, can ya help us out?" One of them says.
A little nervous, but weary, and figuring the guy just wants a light or has car trouble or something (neither of which this man can help him with), he responds, and soon discovers that the young gents are thirsty.
"Dude, I'm twenty years-old, and the place down the street wouldn't let me."
Ahhh, yes. Thirsty, underage gents.
"What do you want?" the man asks.
"Keystone Light. Two thirties?"
"Oh come on. They won't believe that one old guy is buying 60 beers," the man replies. "Besides, this is my liquor store, too. I don't want to get tossed out or anything."
"Tell 'em yer havin' a few girls over. Nah, one's good. No need to be greedy. Here's some money. We'll be over there behind the building."
They hand the man a wad of money (which is funny because a thirty pack of Keystone Light costs only about $15.00. That is some cheap shit.) and even offer to throw him some for his troubles. They seem very nervous about this whole thing, so the man knows that they are legitimate, thirsty, underage gents. Despite his level of poverty, the man refuses their extra money, asks them to hold his book, and enters the store. Perhaps trying to deflect any guilt, he makes small talk with the employees, and buys his thirty, and is on his way. He walks into the dark alley, finds the gents, retrieves his book, gives them their beer and their change, criticizes them for drinking such lousy beer, and is on his way.
He suddenly gets very nervous about the legality of the whole situation, and walks home "the back way," as if he could lose the police down a side street. After a few moments, the fear passes, and he realizes that he was just part of a time-honored tradition of procuring alcohol. He laughs to himself, and suddenly he realizes that this is his life.
*****
Yes, I bought beer for two underage college students (Suffolk, thankfully, not BU.) I know it's a crime, but , come on, they were twenty. I think we should all be able to drink at 18, anyway, and these guys were close enough, and it might as well be me rather than some homeless guy who will just steal their money.
Maybe it's the drinker in me, or the fact that I work with a lot of students, or the fact that I don't give a shit, but I didn't hesitate for a moment once I figured out they were on the level. Thinking about, I wonder if most people would have done it, or even looked up? Would they have had some kind of moral issue with buying beer for minors? Would the fact that it's illegal have stopped them? A bit of both? Honestly, I got a kick out of it. It was the best laugh I had all week. But that's me.
No comments:
Post a Comment