I haven't posted on this thing in awhile, but for some reason I checked the stats, and I had 180 views last month. I'm sure they are 'bots (in fact, I hope they are because otherwise, that's just sad.), but still it inspired me to write again. The fact that we can check up on that kind of thing is kinda scary and kinda cool at the same time.
But what have I done? Easy. Nothing. Have I been too busy to write here? I... guess? I have been working a lot, earning some extra dough, buying and returning a PS3, hopefully to buy it again. But that's about it. Working, living, drinking. It seems like I do less now than I ever did, and yet I apparently have very little free time for myself. Man, time is weird.
I actually think part of it is getting older, working harder, and not having the endurance to do the things I used to after work. But it's also kind of not feeling like I need to let loose every weekend like I used to. Hell, I already know I can drink with the best of them. Why be a show-off?
I kind of hope this isn't maturity kicking in. I never wanted to be that guy who admits to not needing to go crazy every weekend. I suppose if I had more money and more friends who were willing to booze it up every Saturday, I probably would (I am easily swayed), but I rarely get drunk anymore. A few weeks ago, I was out with a group of friends, and we stayed out all night, and this was after I had seen Red and drank with a different group of friends earlier in the evening. I have no idea how many high A.C. beers I had that night, and I still didn't really feel hat bad the next day. I mean, I've been a lot worse.
I guess it's not maturity as much as learning to take it slow. I'd rather sip and enjoy my beer and my company than chug it and hug and slobber all over them. That's why I drink the good beer. I do miss the old days when I could do it every Thursday night and walk in to work on Friday morning feeling like Superman. But, those days are mostly gone and I am okay with that. As much as I enjoy it, no one likes the creepy old dude at the end of the bar.
I'm not sure what I'm actually getting at, except maybe this; I'm almost 35, which is not old, but also not young. It's possibly too old to be doing what I'm doing. When ti comes to life, I'm forgetting more than I'm learning, and I'm caring less and less about it, but I'm also not really identifying with Warren Zevon anymore. I guess I'm not maturing, but I'm not exactly settling down, either.
This is why I tend to write less and less on here (Sorry to my 180 page viewers). Holding patterns don't lend themselves to great literature. I may never get "there," but that's the beauty of apathy; I'm very unconcerned with that right now.