Thursday, November 18, 2010


With regards to my previous post, I believe the expression is actually "breaking" your eye open. My bad, but the point is still valid, right?

Also with regards to my previous post, and being an angry asshole, I've been wrestling with some things for a couple weeks (well, probably my whole life, really, but not as much as I should have). I have always kind of tried to determine what kind of person I want to be. Sometimes, I wanted to be Will from About a Boy, and that worked for awhile because a lot of times, caring does lead to problems. When I watched Californication, I wanted to be Hank Moody. This was mostly because he had a lot of sex, but also because he had a real-life maverick thing going on, and who doesn't want to be that when they grow up? And even before that, I wanted to be like Warren Zevon, a lone-wolf partyer guy (He did write Mutineer," after all, and the classic "My Shit's Fucked Up."). That one went on for a good deal of 2005, actually, with mixed results. Well, the bars and the strippers made out okay.

After all of that, and all the crap that happened, and all the times people have told me, "You should go on more dates because I love the stories," because, y'know, I go on dates purely for the entertainment of others, I was sitting at home the other day and came to a revelation. When I grow up, I think I want to be a man of character.

It is not something I ever really attempted before. I remember Al Pacino in his big speech in Scent of a Woman saying, "I always knew the right path, but I never took it. Know why? It was too damn hard." I always kind of agreed with him. And I also think I always believed that if you were going to be a good person, you had to go all the way, and there was no way I was going to be Mother Theresa, so I was basically fucked.

But you don't have to accept Jesus Christ as your savior to be good, nor do you have to devote your life to a cause. I've seen a lot of corruption and anger in those people. No, to use a bit of a mixed metaphor, "God is in the details." You can be good at the little things, too. And you can listen to Warren Zevon and even be like him without being a dick. You can help people all the time without making miracles. I don't even think there's a real rule to it (Maybe the Golden One.) Just be good.

At least I'll try. And who knows? A couple weeks of that and maybe I won't have a disaster dating story to tell.

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