Monday, June 14, 2010

Winds of Change

That's me from 2001, almost ten years ago. Young, dumb and full of, well, you know.

Thing is, I never had to exercise back then. I ate crap, I spent money like I had a tree somewhere, I traveled, I had a car and a girl who loved me. I suppose that's what everyone has when they're 25. What no 25 year-old realizes is where it all goes. Same place as all that hair I had in this photo?

It's easy for me to look back and think, "What a total dork I was." I mean, utterly clueless, no perspective, arrogant, and that girl I mentioned who loved me? Yeah, she had me whipped. I really had it all.

But it's also becoming easier and easier for me to look back at that guy and wonder really if he had it better. I used to think, "Hell no. I've got it all over that guy." But looking at my scarred body, my fading looks, my shaved head, I have to ponder. Sure, I have that all-important perspective, and at least the arrogance is long gone, but so is the money I used to throw around, the girl and the cocky smile you see there. The young man in the photo is dead, replaced by a grizzled veteran, tired and bitter.

This is how it is, I guess. Maybe this is why people have children, so they can hang on to their youth a little bit longer by living through their kids. I'm not going down that road, so the question is how to stave off this inevitable? Or more importantly, how not to care when it does happen.

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