Many years ago (although I can't find the actual post now), I wrote extensively about how much I hated my night job at Harvard, mostly because I had to take a bus to get there and worked two three-hour shifts a week. Bad business when you factor in the fact that I used to rush home from my day job, shove dinner in my face, book it to the bus stop, wait for the bus for awhile, then basically sit around from 7:00 until 10:00. And one semester I did it three nights a week. I did this because I didn't think I could make it from BU to Harvard in an hour, because I'm an idiot.
Nowadays, I work one night a week for five hours, and I leave BU at 4:00 and make it by 5:00, every time. So, all that rushing around because I continually told myself that, as a diabetic, it would just be easier for me to eat at home. Because I'm an idiot. I wanted to quit so often (in fact, I took some time off and had decided that I was never coming back. Then I got really poor again).
I have now made my peace. I realized this recently, but the bottle of wine given to me by one of the professors I helped out a bit this semester helped the realization along a little (I was also given a slice of pizza by a different professor, which didn't hurt a bit.) This was a first for me, and I've been at Harvard for a long time now, but I don't think the Old Me would have been given wine (but he would have supplied a lot of "whine." Nyuk, nyuk.) Obviously, I wasn't doing anything for gifts or praise. I was doing my job, which I always did, but I think I was much happier doing it now, and these people maybe sensed that. Old Me used to bitch about coming in here and not getting anything done, even though I have no idea what I would have been doing otherwise. Probably nothing worth noting. Idle hands and what-not. These days, I don't get much done either (writing in this blog, scouring facebook, reading comics), but I don't get annoyed with myself. I have made peace. I feel like some kinda Born-Again Christian, when they come back and get all regretful about how they lived their life as a godless heathen.
Well, I'm still a godless heathen, but I am enjoying it more now.