I may have hit upon something spectacular. Or relatively cynical. You may decide.
Recently, I met a girl and attempted courtship. After repeated attempts, she told me that she was seeing someone else and, thus, we could never be (not exactly in those words, but...). I suspected this to be false. She probably just didn't have it for me and wanted to spare my feelings, because when I told her it was cool and I hoped we could remain friends, she seemed ecstatic. In fact, this is her exact quote (from her e-mail): "Can we really still be friends?! That makes me super excited. Big smiles over in SMG right now."
Of course, people can say anything in an e-mail, but I was into her quite a bit, so even though we remained friends, I was slightly disappointed. We had also become facebook friends, and I did notice that her relationship status never changed, not that that is a big deal, but I also noticed this week that her status reads, "Giving up the opposite sex for Lent." So, yeah, big lie over in SMG right now.
Still, not too huge a deal. Not everyone is attracted to everyone, especially me. However, I am just now realizing what the problem is, and it is a problem with a lot of people and the whole relationship thing and probably society as a whole. The problem is that I have most probably been lied to, and that is an insult to my intelligence. I would rather her think of me as a gargoyle than insult my intelligence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, so not everyone is going to be attracted to me, or I to everyone. But my intelligence is my intelligence, and that is undisputed. I know that this girl doesn't know me very well, and I may be reading into something she put on facebook in jest, but I am still 95% sure she was trying to let me down easy with a tiny fib that I could not possibly call her out on.
BUT, I have been around, and I've told a bunch of lies in my time, and I know this game as well as anyone out there, so it hurts that she would think she could put one over on me like that. It hurts a lot more than her saying, "Hey, Matt, you seem like an okay dude, but you eat really slow and talk a lot, and I'm just not feeling anything on this end." Because seriously, no one wants to hear that, but there's no arguing that would be the honest truth, and how can a guy not respect that? Let's face it, when someone is caught cheating, is it really the cheating that offends them, because in my experience, it's the lying that really stings. The old, "How could you do his to me?" line, because they probably had an inkling it was happening, anyway.
This is my problem with almost all manner of relationships, romantic or otherwise. Most of us are not honest enough with each other. I admit that I do it, too, and I lie about all kinds of things, but I would hope that at least the people I care about know exactly where they stand with me. That is really all I have to offer the world, but it's more than a lot of people seem capable of. And if you're reading this and don't know where you stand with me, pay attention!