Friday, July 10, 2009

The New Women

Let me start off by stating that I am an unmarried, child-less, heterosexual male in my early 30's. I believe this makes me a minority, and probably subject to some sort of benefits or special treatment. Okay, I wasn't born this way (the early 30's part, anyway) but at least I should be entitled to something, like for people to listen to my complaints. (Why not? All other minorities do it.)

Here's a complaint: why don't guys man-up anymore?

Seriously, when did we all become such wusses? And I don't mean in the drink-beer-and-belch way. Men still do that. Hell, women do that, so I'm not being sexist or anything. When I say "men are wusses," I'm talking about emotions. For instance, having them. Or, more accurately, showing them. I suppose the men in ancient Rome had emotions and appreciated beauty, they just never told anybody about it for fear that their buddies would scoff and probably rape his wife, and possibly him as well.

Sometime in the last half-century, men have been domesticated, like the common dog. At some point in the past, women said, "What are you feeling?", and like Pandora's Box, they all came flooding out. While the men were crying, the women said, "Someone's gotta wear the pants in this family," so they took the reins. And instead of saying, "Hey, those are my reins," the men handed them over.

This paradigm has resulted in men literally becoming the new women (like pink being the new black). Men now get jealous, and lonely, and selfish. Let me give you an example from a friend of mine. Her boyfriend was upset because my friend was using what precious little vacation time she had to hang with an old, college girlfriend, this guy all but saying, "What about me? Sniff." My friend is much nicer than me, but I think she was probably stifling the question, "What about you?" She sees this guy all the time, while her friend was traveling down from Toronto. Is this something that people need to discuss? And seriously, turn the clock back a few years and can't you see the girl worrying about the guy spending time with his friends and not having enough for her? Am I the only one who notices this stuff?

Think about it for a minute. Back in the day, men were the head of the household (and not necessarily in a mean, domineering way). How many men do you know are the head of their household these days? I think I know one. And again, I don't mean that a guy who does nice things for his wife or girlfriend is a wuss. Or that men should be working while the women stay home and bake the brownies. All things being equal, things would be equal. However, all things are not equal. In fact, nothing is equal. And so we have divorce, because things can't really be equal, because Domesticated Man can't make decisions on his own. Surely, that would upset his wife, and that cannot happen. Therein, I feel, lies the rub. Upset Woman leads to many, many problems. God forbid we upset anyone in these days.

Some may be thinking, "This is why this guy isn't marred." And if you said that, YOU'RE RIGHT!!! Maybe I'm not married because maybe I'm not a wuss. I'm the head of my household. I make decisions based on what I want, because I don't have to worry about anyone not approving. I approve of everything. In my life, anyway, all things are equal.

No comments: