Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I haven't written much lately. I've been trying to actually be a nicer, not-as-bitter person. It's difficult in the face of some of the craziness in the world. For instance, I was asked to work last Saturday, and the college where I work is rented out on weekends to what is called the German Saturday School. It is a bizarre bunch of German people (probably all of them in the Boston area) who seemingly get together to sell things to each other and have their kids run freely around the halls. I have never seen any actual learning going on, in fact, which is odd for a school.

This day, I walked past a German woman changing her young child's diaper on the floor in the middle of the hallway. Maybe my San Diego adventure has dulled my senses to such things, because I walked right on by. About fifteen minutes later, I walk down the same hallway to find that said dirty diaper has been deposited in the PAPER RECYCLING BIN!!!

What is wrong with people? I'm sure even someone who can't read the sign can discern between a trash barrel and a paper recycling bin.

This is why I will not have children. I'm sorry to all the parents out there. if you choose to have children, then go for it, but please dispose of your diapers properly and leave me the fuck out of it. Something happens to a lot of normal people the second that kid comes out. A lot of parents suddenly forget how the world works and will do things like change their kid over my food or throw their dirty diapers in recycling bins, and I don't want that to happen to me. I want to retain what little sanity I have, thank you.

This probably sounds like an angry rant, but think about it like this for a moment (I mean, really think). Humans are animals, so therefore it is in our nature to breed. However, as humans, we have brains (well, most of us.) We have the ability to make choices. We don't have to succumb to evolution. We can do whatever we want. So why do we want to make babies? Because we want to populate a planet that already has a few billion too many people on it? Because diaper shit is awesome? Humans have children because we like having sex, but more importantly, because society says we should. Society says we all should go to school, get a job, get married, make babies, lather, rinse, repeat. Am I the only one who has stopped to ask why? The looks I get from people when I say I don't want to have kids is the same sort of look I would get if I told them I liked to kick puppies. Why? It's just a choice I'm making. I don't begrudge your choices.

And no, I'm not waiting for the right girl, and it won't be different when it's my child. Diaper shit is diaper shit, and all kids smell and cry and are stupid and then when they stop being stupid they hate your guts until they're in their mid-twenties or so. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but, it's true. And before you start thinking, Wow, what a bum, let me just say that yes, I am a bum. The real reason I don't want to have children is because I am selfish (or so you would think). I know that my life, as I know it, will be over, and that is not a sacrifice I am willing to make. And no child deserves a father who doesn't want it. So, there's selfishness for you.

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